How I can support you

You might recognise some of this

People often come to me saying they don't feel like themselves. They know something has shifted, but they can't always connect it to grief — especially when the loss isn't a death, or when the death happened a long time ago.

Here are some of the things my clients describe:

• Feeling numb or disconnected — going through the day on autopilot, not really present
• Unexpected waves of emotion — fine one moment, then suddenly overwhelmed in the supermarket or in the car
• Guilt — about things you did or didn't say, about feeling relieved, about laughing, about moving on
• Anger — at the person who died, at yourself, at the unfairness of it, at people who don't understand
• Exhaustion — grief is physically draining, even when you're not doing anything differently
• Isolation — feeling like nobody around you really gets it, or that you've become a burden
• Anxiety — a new fear of losing others, of your own health, of the future being uncertain
• Loss of identity — not knowing who you are without the person, the relationship, or the life you had before

None of this means you're broken. It means you're grieving. And grief, by its nature, needs somewhere to go.

It doesn't have to be a death

One of the most common things I hear is: "I don't know if what I'm going through counts as grief." It does.

Grief can follow any significant loss, and some of the hardest losses are the ones the world doesn't give you permission to mourn. I support people through:

Relationship loss

Divorce, separation, or the end of a long-term relationship. The grief of losing someone who is still alive carries its own particular weight — especially when you're expected to just get on with it.

Health and body changes

A diagnosis, chronic pain, loss of mobility, or a change in how your body works. You may be grieving the life you had before, or the future you'd planned.

Infertility and baby loss

The grief of not being able to have children, or of losing a pregnancy, is often deeply isolating. Others may minimise it or rush you towards "trying again," but the loss is real and deserves space.

Career and financial loss

Redundancy, retirement, or the collapse of a business you built. These losses can take your sense of purpose with them.

Identity transitions

Empty nest, retirement, migration, ageing, coming out — any moment when the life you knew gives way to something unfamiliar, and you need to grieve what you're leaving behind.

Pet loss

The death of a pet can bring grief that surprises you with its depth. If people around you don't understand, that can make it lonelier still.

Anticipatory grief

When someone you love has a terminal illness or is declining through dementia, the grief can begin long before they die. You may be mourning the person they were while still caring for the person they are.

If you're hesitating, you're not alone

Most people think about counselling for weeks or months before they make contact. That's completely normal. Here are some of the things that hold people back — and why they don't need to.

What counselling can give you

People come to grief counselling for different reasons and leave with different things. But some of the changes my clients describe include:

• Feeling lighter — not because the grief has gone, but because they're no longer carrying it alone
• Understanding their own grief better — recognising patterns, triggers, and responses that make more sense now
• Being able to talk about the person they've lost without falling apart
• Sleeping better, eating better, being more present with the people around them
• A renewed sense of who they are and what they want from life going forward
• Permission to grieve in their own way, without judgement

Counselling doesn't take your grief away. But it can help you carry it differently.